the deadly theatre

I have a confession to make..jeng..jeng..jeng…takde apala.sgt2la bosan..so today i decided to write something in my blog..no..actually, i just want to tell u guys how i learn to cook.before this i really hate cooking..tp skung nih pon bukan reti sgt but okla kan dr x tau langsung..:p

one of my exes actually made me to cook.mamat uia tu la.the guy that most of my frens disfavour of.what is past is pastla kan..ehehehe.let’s get back to my story.he can cook & i can’t + i don’t want him to look down on me so i learn to cook..hey..women have egos too,ok?!so, i searched for recipes..i still remember..the first thing i cooked was chocolate cake..sbb die sgt2la suka gelakkan aku because my incapabilities of cooking, i drove all the way from seremban to uia just to give him the choco cake.gila x aku?!die sgt2la shocked because i can cook.the look from his eyes…ehehhe…puas hati aku..

and then i became obsessed wif cooking.those days during my spare time i will cook.the food tester??mestila my x,my parents + siblings..percaya tak aku boleh buat pretzels and scones?ahahha..seres..alamak.baru teringat..aku utang kat agus nak buat chocolate cake double layer utk die..nantila yer agus..one day, i made banana cake..tau apa bapak aku ckp?die kate,"shelly, kita boleh belila kek nih kat kedai."cheiiitttt!!

these days,aku sgt2la bz..takde mase nak masak..ceh..alasan..wokeyla..gadego because i feel like i want to bake a chocolate cake..yummyyy!!!!

p/s:i would like to thank my x because of him i can cook..

Hatiku sangat kechiwa…ahahaha..poyola…i got a msg from my cousin..he said that ken hirai is a gay..SHITE!!!penat jek aku minat die seumur hidopku ini….ermm…skung aku tanak minat die lagi ahhh..lagu die jek…aku nak minat sapa skung yek???hemmmmm……….

KISAH BENAR 1

NAMA KU AYU…AHAHAHAH..NI BUKAN KISAH BENAR KAT TV3 TU LA..WHEN I WAS IN STF, I WAS QUITE REBELLIOUS..I HATE MY ENGLISH TEACHER SO MUCH.HE LOVES TO TEASE ME.MELAMPAU-LAMPAU LAK TUH.AND THEN ONE DAY HE ASKED ME + AT THAT TIME I WAS NOT IN THE GOOD MOOD,

SIR AZMAN: SHELLY, WHY U HATE ME? —->dgn tersenyum2 sambil memblink2 mata

ME: BECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY!!!

HUH?!SELAMBA TAK AKU..SIAN DIE OK SBB DIE MMG TAK HENSEM..AKU TAK INGAT LANGSUNG PASAL BENDA NIH UNTIL I MET SHARINA A FEW MONTHS BACK. DIE SIAP TANYA LAGI, "KO INGAT X APA KO CKP NGAN SIR AZMAN?". AND I WAS LIKE…AAAHH??CKP APA??YELA BAPE LAMA AKU X JUMPA SIR…ERM…SKUNG MENYESALLA JUGAK CKP CAMTUH..JAHATKAN AKU…"SIR AZMAN, I AM SORRY AND DEEP DOWN MY HEART I DID NOT MEAN WHAT I’VE SAID TO U…PLEASE FORGIVE ME..ALA..TAPI SALAH SIR JUGAK..APSAL SUKA USIK SAYA".EHEHEHEHHE

KISAH BENAR 2

THIS THING HAPPENED WHEN I WAS IN JAPAN A FEW YEARS BACK. INGAT2 BALIK MMG LAWAK GILA AAHH..I WENT TO MY GODFATHER’S HOUSE (KO INGAT MARIO PUZO KE?AHAHHA). TIME TUH ASAR. AKU PON DGN SELAMBALA NAK SEMAYANG. BILIK YG AKU LEPAK PULAK MENGHADAP JALAN. CO-INCIDENT PULAK ARAH KIBLAT MENGHADAP TINGKAP. AKU PON SELAMBA JELA PAKAI TELEKUNG. MASA AKU PAKAI TUH ADA LA SORANG BUDAK SEK (KECIKLA BUDAK TUH) TERKEDEK2 NAK BALIK UMAH..BILA NAMPAK AKU PAKAI TELEKUNG, MMG BOLE DIE MENJERIT SEKUAT ATI..AHAHAHAH..SERES DIE INGAT AKU HANTU DOHHH…YELA..MANALA JEPUN PENAH TGK ORG PAKAI TELEKUNG..AKU PUNYA PANIK TERUS TUTUP BLIND.SEMAYANG CEPAT2.PASTUH AKU LEPAK TEPI TINGKAP TUNGGU BUDAK TUH..YELA..MANA TAU KALU2 DIE DTG BALIK KAN.TAK LAMA LEPAS TUH DIE DTG DGN BAPAK DIE OK..AHAHAH..PUASLE DUE ORG NIH TERPANDANG2..ENTAH APA DIE CKP (MANA AKU PAHAM,BASIC TUH BOLEYLE),TAK LAMA LEPAS TUH TERUS BLAH..AKU APA LAGI GELAK DI ATAS KATIL FOR A FEW MINUTES.BEST DOHH BOLEH TAKOTKAN JEPUN NGAN PAKAI TELEKUNG..ESOK TUH AKU PAKAI TELEKUNG SAJA JE NAK TAKUTKAN BUDAK TUH..CEH..BERJAM2 AKU TUNGGU SAMPAI GELAP TAK LALU LA PULAK MAMAT NIH..DAMN..SERES DIE TAKUT NAK LALU SITU LAGI..EHEHHE

KISAH BENAR 3

LAST 2 YEARS, DURING FESTIVAL SENI,I VOLUNTEERED TO HELP MY X AS A TECHNICAL + SOUND AD-HOC SINCE HIS TEAM DAH TAK CUKUP ORG. I WAS SUPPOSED TO JAGA THE MUSIC AND THE BACKGROUND SOUND. SERIOUSLY I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE BUT WHO CARES LA KAN.SO ADA SATU SCENE TIME TUH KAT RUMAH. I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE BUNYI OF ONE LAGU, INSTEAD I PLAYED BUNYI-BUNYIAN BURUNG DIDLM HUTAN.I CAN SEE MY X’S FACE ON THE STAGE FROM THE CONTROL ROOM.HE WAS KINDA SHOCKED.YELA..DLM RUMAH..APAHAL LAK BUNYI DLM HUTAN.TAPI MAMAT TUH CONTROL JEK. AKU NIH ADA SATU PERANGAI.SPONTANEOUS.AT THAT MOMENT, I FEEL LIKE, OK..AKU RASE AKU NAK TEKAN BUTANG NIH.DGN SELAMBA JEK AKU TEKAN, LANGSUNG X IKUT QUE.MUKA BEBUDAK LAIN SEMUA MCM KO BUAT APA OIIIII…..AHAHAHHAAHAHAH..DAHLA COMPETITION…SLAMBA JEK AKU..UNTIL NOW DIEORG MESTI GELAK KALU INGAT BALIK..DIEORG MMG TAKNAK KASI AKU JADI AD-HOC LAGI OK BECAUSE OF THAT INCIDENT…DAMN!!

KISAH BENAR 4

A FEW WEEKS BACK, OUT OF NO WHERE MY BESTFREN, EPUL MUNCUL DEPAN UMAH AKU.AND I WAS LIKE APEHAL LAK MAMAT NIH..SELALU SIBUK JEK MEMANJANG..

ME:HOITT..APSAL KO DTG AHH..ERM..KO NAK KAWIN KE?

EPUL:ERM..EHEHEHE..MANA ADER..MANE ADER

ME:BLAH AHH..SUME KWN AKU KALU DTG SURE PSL NAK KAWIN AHH..BOHSAN AAHH

EPUL:ALAMAK..JGN AAA CAMTUH..YELA AKU NAK KAWIN..BULAN 12 KOT..

I WAS LIKE..AAA?APAHAL SUME ORG NIH…MY BESTFREN, EPUL NAK KAWIN?AHAHAHA..BILA AKU TANYE KO TAK GI MERONGGENG LAGI KE?DIE KATE DIE DAH BUSAN..HAA?EPUL KATE BUSAN..KAGUMNYEEE AKU.EPUL DAH TAUBAT NASUHA.HAAHAHAHA..AKU TAKDELA MEMBER NAK GI RONGGENG LAGI.EPUL, CONGRATULATIONS..MESTI JASMIN MENANGIS KO KAWIN SBB DAH XDA SUPPORTER KUAT TGK NRG BUAT LIVE BAND.APA KATE KO PANGGIL NRG NYANYI MASE KO KAWIN.COOL SIOLL..LIKE D GOOD OLD DAYS..EHEHHEHE

KISAH BENAR 5

JADI MASA KAT CHANGI AIRPORT.TIME NIH AKU TRANSIT DR OSAKA.ON D WAY NAK BALIK M’SIA LA.I TRAVELLED ALONE AT THAT TIME BCOZ PARENTS AKU NAK TEST WHETHER AKU NIH INDEPENDENT KE TAK.HUH?!SO, MASE KAT CHANGI, AKU SIBUK SHOPPING SAMPAI TERLEKA OK..AND THEN AKU BARULE MENGGELUPUR (PINJAM AYAT KO SHARINA.EHEHE)MENCARI GATE AKU TUH.BILA SAMPAI SANA AKU TENGOK DIE ORG DAH TARIK TANGGA YG SAMBUNGKAN ANTARA PLANE NGAN TUNNEL KAT GATE TUH..AKU X TAULA NAMA DIE APA.SO, AKU DGN MENTALNYA, KEPT ON KICKING AND PUSHING PINTU YG NAK MASUK DLM TUNNEL YG HUBUNGKAN DGN PLANE TUH.YG PALING BEST SKALI SUME ORG TGK AKU.THEY WERE LIKE GILA KE MINAH NIH.AKU PELIK ASAL SUME ORG RILEK GILE.AKU DAH NAK NANGIS DAH..MESTI MAK AKU MARAH COZ I MISS MY FLIGHT.AKU KIRA2 DUIT DLM PURSE.OK.CUKUP BELI ANOTHER FLIGHT TICKET.THEN, B4 AKU KUAR DR GATE, AKU TANYA MAMAT YG INCHARGE KAT SITU.

ME: I THINK I MISSED MY FLIGHT..

HIM: RELAX, CAN U TELL ME UR FLIGHT NO PLEASE?

ME: SQ xxxxxx

HIM: THE PLANE IS NOT LEAVING YET. CAN’T U SEE?UR PLANE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF U.

ME: BUT I SAW SOMEONE TAKING OFF THE ‘THING’ THAT CONNECT WITH THE PLANE.

HIM: MISS, ACTUALLY THEY JUST FINISHED CLEANING UP THE PLANE.THAT IS WHY THEY TAKE OUT THAT "THING" FROM THE PLANE. SO, DON’T PANIC. HAVE A SEAT.

HUH?!!MALU TAK AKU.SACARSTICLA PULAK JANTAN TUH..HAAAAA…& KEMALUAN AKU TAK SAMPAI SITU SAJA OK..BILA NAIK, AKU SALAH SEAT..SHIT SHELLY, EVEN D SIMPLEST THING PON TAK NAMPAK.MAMAT TUH PON TAK KISAH AKU DUDUK SEAT DIE SBB B4 THAT DIE DAH NAMPAK KEBODOHAN AKU.THE RESULT? I SLEPT THROUGHOUT THE JOURNEY.NASIB BAIK NAK BALIK M’SIA.KALU GI UK,MAMPOS AKU TIDO BERBELAS JAM..HUH!!

NAME: CHARLIE

NICKNAME: AMOKMOK,GIRL

AGE: GOING TO BE 5

D.O.B: DECEMBER 2000

PLACE OF BIRTH: ON THE ROOFTOP OF SHELLY’S HOUSE

STATUS: SINGLE

FAVOURITE FOOD: RAW FISHES ESP. SARDINES, FRISKIES’S OCEAN FISH + CANNED FISH (PINK COLOUR ONLY)..DUN CARE ‘BOUT THE BRAND, AS LONG AS IT IS IN THE PINK CAN.OTHER COLOUR?NO..THANK YOU..RATHER NOT TO EAT IT EVENTHOUGH IT IS FROM M&S.

FAVOURITE DRINK: WATER FROM THE FISH TANK & VASES

LOVES: PEE IN THE BATHROOM, CATCHING LIZARDS, SNAKES, SLEEPING IN THE DRAWER OF A COFFEE TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM, FIGHTING WITH KENIT, SMELLING BABAH’S FOOT, MAKING MESS WITH ALL THE CARPETS AND BEDS, DO ACROBATICS ON THE GATES UNTIL FALL DOWN INTO THE DRAIN..

HATES: GOING TO THE VET, MEET THE VET, THE SOUND OF THE ALAM FLORA’S LORRY (lori ke nama die?!i dun give a xxxx), WHEN OUTSIDERS COME TO THE HOUSE..

NAME: KENIT

NICKNAME: ANITNIT, GIRL

AGE: GOING TO BE 5

D.O.B: DECEMBER 2000

PLACE OF BIRTH: SAME LIKE CHARLIE..ON THE ROOFTOP OF SHELLY’S HOUSE

STATUS: UNAVAILABLE

FAVOURITE FOOD: RAW FISHES ESP. SARDINES, FRISKIES’S OCEAN FISH + CANNED FISH (PINK COLOUR ONLY) ..DUN CARE ‘BOUT THE BRAND, AS LONG AS IT IS IN THE PINK CAN.OTHER COLOUR?NO..THANK YOU..RATHER NOT TO EAT IT EVENTHOUGH IT IS FROM M&S.

FAVOURITE DRINK: WATER FROM THE FISH TANK & VASES

LOVES: TO GET INTO THE HOUSE THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE QRISSYA & JIJI + WILL THROW TANTRUMS IF NOBODY OPENS THE DOOR FOR HER, THE SOUND OF THE MICROWAVE, CATCHING BIRDS, HANGING OUT WITH OTHER CATS UNTIL WEE HOURS, MEOWING (ada ke perkataan nih?belasah..ahahahha) LIKE MAD, SLEEPING WITH MAMA, FIGHTING WITH CHARLIE, WEARING HER BLUE CAT’S T-SHIRT WHICH MAMA BOUGHT FOR HER WHEN SHE’S COLD OR DURING RAINY DAYS, MAKING MESS WITH ALL THE KNICK KNACKS ESP. THE DUCKS’ AND CATS’ REALIA, WAKING UP EVERYBODY EARLY IN THE MORNING ESP. DURING WEEKENDS, LOVE ATTENTION SOOO MUCH

HATES: TAKING BATH, GOING TO THE VET, MEET THE VET, THE SOUND OF THE ALAM FLORA’S LORRY (lori ke nama die?!i dun give a xxxx), WHEN QRISSYA HAS TO GO TO WORK, PEOPLE HUGGING HER (STROKING YES..BUT HUGGING IS A BIG NO NO), THE SOUND OF THE WATER HEATER, AND ETC

one nite while gossiping wif my mum, my sister called from london

qrissya: ma, guess what?

mama: amende?

qrissya: jimmy choo kasi org kasut

mama + me: aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

i was like?ape?biar betul..ok..ok…breathe in… breathe out…. my sis is a stewardess so she got to travel around the world…sangat2la jeles…ok..during her recent worktrip to london, she was like gatal2 wants to meet this tukang kasut..and one of her colleagues asked her,"ko nak jumpa dia ke?".."iyela.."kejap yer.." and then this guy dengan selambanya made a phone call…"Datuk..its me XXXX…can we meet up..a fren of mine wants to see u..blah..blah..blah…"Datuk kate ok..tapi korang kena kuar sorang 3 pound aahh..pasal nak naik bus." my sis was like…mamat nih nak kenakan aku la tuh.."eleh, kalau setakat call tuh aku pon boleh..tulis jek nama Datuk Jimmy dlm contacts tuh" this guy just smiling.. "jomla pegi aku dah call die nih".and because my sis malas nak melayan, she just bought the bus ticket and went on the bus with her frens..

when reached at connaught st, in front of jimmy’s boutique, my sis still blur..die masih tak percaya.."eleh, aku pon boleh pegi kedai die sendiri"…and then some of the shop assistants came out from the boutique and terus ckp ngan mamat nih.."aiyah XXXX, Datuk pigi gunting rambut la..can u go to that cafe and have a drink first..he will meet u there"  my sis still x percaya..while they were drinking coffee, dari jauh sorang mamat melambai2….guess who?Datuk Jimmy lerrr…my sis mmg nak pengsan because she taught that her frens were playing a fool..to make the story short, Jimmy Choo asked them to go to his boutique..my sis was like GILA in that shop because sgtla cantik kasut2 die –>according to her la, i never been there..sob..sob…

selepas dah berborak2 tetiba lak Jimmy nih bawak 3 kasut and asked her to choose one…"Datuk, frankly speaking..i can’t afford to buy your shoes, but I’ll just try it on,"she said dengan sedihnya…Jimmy nih pulak tersengih2.. "Nevermind, girl.Just try it on." after that, dieorg pon nak blah..suddenly.."can we meet up tonite?dinner with my wife and my daughter?I’ll bring the shoes tonite."  aaaaa….lagila flattered adik aku.but this girl still tak paham.asal lak nak bawak kasut tuh.bukan aku boleh beli pon..that nite,they went to a chinese restaurant..makan..berborak..

selepas itu, Si Jimmy took out something from a paper bag. tara!!! itu kasutla..dengan slambanye die pakaikan adik aku kasut tuh..minah tuh apa lagik..teruja habis.."This is for you.u dont have to cry..ehehhe."  haaa…tekanan mental gua but at the same time i’m so elated..not everyone afford to buy a shoes by jimmy choo kan, furthermore, who will get a FREE shoes from Datuk Jimmy?siap die pakaikan lagi…peh…seronoknyerrr..Datuk, saya pon nak kasut Datuk jugak!!!!ehehe..here are some pics of the shoes… pliz click on the pics to view the bigger versions..